In my next life…

Lord knows my husband tries…and not only does he try, he succeeds. He is a husband who is more than willing to do a pile of dishes when needed, he is a dad who looks forward to spending time with his kids and cherishes his family.  So by no means am I downplaying the man that I am so blessed to call my husband, but he is no wife!

In my next life I will be able to just play with my children.  I will not be distracted by their dirty finger nails that need to be cut as they point to the pictures in the book we are reading together.  I will not see the cobwebs in the corner as I crawl around on the floor with the baby or worry about digging out the box of 12 month clothing stored away while dressing him for his day.  I will not stress about tights with no holes in the knees or bobby pins or glitter hair spray the morning of my daughters dance recital.  I will not know what is on the hot lunch menu or if my middle child remembered to bring an item for show and tell.  I will not have my mind full of play dates, sports schedules and doctor appointments.

In my next life I will sleep like a log and be baffled by the look of death I get when I ask…..”did the baby wake up last night?” 

In my next life I will not understand how something like trimming beard hairs over the freshly cleaned bathroom sink could raise somebody’s blood pressure.

In my next life I will not feel guilty about taking time for myself and when I return from that time I will look forward to a home cooked meal, bathed children who have their homework done and surely a good old romp in the sack to round out my day.

In my next life….well…..I hope I get a wife!


“Smile and act like your having fun!”

Over the weekend a couple of my friends and I took our daughters (& niece) away for a girls weekend/back to school shopping trip.  Sounds nice, huh??

Well I could just post this photo of us smiling outside of the Gap and maybe even put a nice little mother/daughter quote…..mmmm….maybe something like “A daughter is a little girl who grows up to be your best friend.”

It’d lead one to believe that it was a magical, relaxing, bonding, memory making time.  One might even think, “awe that’s so nice. I bet they had the best time. I wish I could do that with my daughter.” But friends, you know me…and I just don’t know how to be anything less than honest…..IT WAS PRETTY AWFUL!

Maybe at 8 years old, she just wasn’t old enough for it.  Maybe my expectations were just unrealistic. Maybe she is just not ever going to be a shopper (please lord don’t let this be true). But the reality of it is, every store it was me searching for her, scolding her for hiding in the racks of clothing, me giving her the evil eye while she whined and moaned and complained. 

 In every single store she would ask, “what are we doing now?”…..”SHOPPING!…SHOPPING IS WHAT WE ARE DOING! SHOPPING NOW, SHOPPING LATER! WE ARE ON A SHOPPING TRIP!!”  And friends, keep in mind we are talking about stores like Justice….not grocery shopping in Walmart or picking up an oil filter at the parts store.  

The other girls were finishing up some shopping and after finding Ashlyn sitting under a maniquin scaring other shoppers, I decided to go outside with her and get some fresh air.  I told her to come sit next to me and “smile like she was having fun!” After I snapped the above picture, I asked her “when we get home and Daddy asks you if you had fun…what are you going to say?” 

 And her response,……..”Do you want me to say yes?”

Can’t blame the kid for being honest I guess, but in that moment for just a second I let myself go to the bad place of feeling unappreciated and dare I say my feelings were even hurt? 
Fellow moms…you know that feeling…the one where you want to start in with the “after all I’ve done for you” and “do you know how much money I spent this weekend just for you to act like this.” That feeling was right there in the pit of my stomach for much of the trip. And then I realized, what good would it do. She didn’t ask me to take her on a girls shopping weekend. She didn’t even ask me to buy her school clothes. 

 So I took a deep breath and decided when I am in need of a magical, relaxing, bonding, memory making time with any of my children I need to ask them…”if you could have the whole afternoon with mommy…what would you want to do?” I suspect little miss would just want to have me swim in the pool with her and watch her new under water tricks. I set my expectations for our little trip so high, when in reality to her it was no more fun than running errands with me on any other day.

So like most SAHM’s I am definitely ready for summer to come to a close, it’s been a long summer of bickering, testing my patients, and pushing the boundaries…but in the next two weeks before school starts and we get back into the swing of schedules and routine I am hoping to have at least one magical, relaxing, bonding moment with my big girl! Wish me luck! 


Got stress? Lord knows this momma does! Not sure what my deal is lately but I’m just not coping well friends! Anyway, I have found a little something that helps!  My new thing is painting some furniture….then roughing it up!  I have re done my living room end tables, made a rustic little bench out of two old chairs and some pallet wood and did a little re do of a rod iron piece! 

I just love my 2 old chairs and pallet wood bench project! Below are some pictures of the process!

2 old chairs from the local Salvation Army $8

I simply popped those very tattered seats off and went looking for a pallet to attack! Just a side note here: If you are looking to relieve some stress or take out 

some aggression….take a pallet apart…. SATISFYING!

After getting enough boards off of the pallet for a bench seat and a shoe shelf below, I recruited my handsome stud of a husband to cut them to the length I wanted.  Then I was stuck…. I was so torn on what color to paint and/or stain.

After consulting with a few ladies …we decided it’s just paint…it can always be painted over…and I was going for an old look anyhow …. So I decided to give the chairs a whitewash and then sand the grooves, corners, and edges to give it a distressed, rustic, farmhouse feel.  I used a dark walnut stain on the pallet boards and used a finishing nail gun (all by myself!!) to attach them! Another very satisfying experience for a stressed out momma! 

Not too shabby for less than $20!

I am really happy with how it turned out and now constantly on the lookout for more old chairs!  Hope this little project gives you a some inspiration to get your hands dirty and create something! 

Melsama, IUD Acne and Monistat Anti-chaffing Gel

If you have ever had to do a google search for something along the lines of “HELP! I have darkened skin above my lip that is making me look like I have an f-ing mustache”….. I feel you girlfriend.  Melasma is what I came up with in my search…..melasma?? I mean come on…this crap actually has a name….and even better no cure! Unless your internet searching has been better to you than me….I pretty much came up with: Order this sketchy cream that probably won’t work and comes from China with a big fat “not FDA approved” label……

or ….Exfoliate that upper lip until it practically bleeds, then load on the SPF and buy a big brimmed sun hat cuz homegirl your days of basking in the sun catching a nice bronzed up tan are OVER!

And here I sit….


Just in case you need to know …. The definition of Melasma is as follows:

Melasma (muh-LAZ-muh) is a common skin problem. It causes brown to gray-brown patches on the face. Most people get it on their cheeks, bridge of their nose, forehead, chin, and above their upper lip. It also can appear on other parts of the body that get lots of sun, such as the forearms and neck. (American Academy of Dermatology)


The good or bad news of it is that so many woman are dealing with it! Just recently I ran into a friend who was just discovering her upper lip melasma.  After being in the sun for the day she woke up thinking she had grown a mustache over night! She tried waxing it, shaving it…..only to find out it’s not hair…..ya know this is that point in your life when you actually wish it was hair growing on your upper lip! 

In the last couple years I have learned a couple things.  SPF is a must! Self-tanner and bronzer helps! And DO NOT try to use concealer to hide it! Oh and a little side note…if your not too embarrassed to purchase it….Monistat Chafing Relief Powder-Gel is an amazing primer base for makeup! And much cheaper than the high end make up primers on the market!

My current skin issue is a ridiculous amount of acne all over my forehead …. Google search on that says I can thank my IUD….awesome….I get to deal with age spots and acne worse than a puberty ridden teenager all at once! Cheers to being in our thirties bitches! 

#nomakeup #nofilter #iudacne #melasmamustache